she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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