I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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