You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
