how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
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Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
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I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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