I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
