I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
