we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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