we're blogging at a bar
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Randomize
