I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
God I need to hump something, right now.
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