Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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