I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
