I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
