bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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