They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
