I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
