sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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