I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
