i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
