Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
