I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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