I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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