You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
