Having a random hookup so left but love u
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
