Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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