remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize