he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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