it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
