Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
