:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
