It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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