so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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