ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
