don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
