She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
