i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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