I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
