Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
