i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
