I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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