I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
