The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
