It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I lost the right to judge tonight
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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