You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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