I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize