O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
