I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
