when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
