Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
