Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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