I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
