When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
