But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
