It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I want her autograph on my taint
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
