I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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